


Cute Revenge

by CeeJay (hyper_piggie)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Cute, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-22
Updated: 2010-12-22
Packaged: 2017-10-13 23:01:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/142674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyper_piggie/pseuds/CeeJay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jade steals Dave's glasses by distracting him with a kiss.  Dave gets cute-revenge.  Takes place in the (speculative/AU) future.</p><p>A gift for dellaluce as part of the Homestuck Gift Exchange, 2010.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cute Revenge

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dellaluce](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dellaluce/gifts).



"Dave!" Jade shouted, tip toeing out of her dressing room stall and into the main area. "What do you think of this one?"

Her dress flared just a little as she spun, its price tag dangling wildly near her arm. It was blue, the kind of blue that reminded her of the sun faded salon portraits her grandfather treasured, and was accented with sparkles that caught the florescent light of the shopping mall department store.

"It looks great," Dave replied, completely uninterested. Jade frowned. He wasn't even looking at her. He was sitting on the store's large blue sofa, nose deep in the latest issue of GameBro magazine, looking as though he were in a doctor's office waiting room.

"You're not even looking," she pouted, stepping over to him. "Please? Just tell me what you think."

Dave put down the magazine and looked up at her. "It looks great," he repeated. "Whatever you like. You're the one who's gonna wear it."

"But... You're my date!" she chimed, excited to announce it. "We're going to the dance together. I think you should have some say."

"It's just a dance, it's not a big deal. We saved the fucking world, remember?"

"Yeah but..." Jade twiddled her thumbs. "I'd just like to know if you think I -- _it_ looks pretty."

"Sure, it's just fantastic."

She tried to feel complimented by his words, she wanted to believe he honestly thought so, but she just couldn't. Dave was the only person she knew who was easier to read online. When he looked up at her from behind those shades, with that straight face, she couldn't quite tell if he was being true.

But she was going to find out.

"Daaave..." she sighed, "How do you know? I bet you can't even tell what color it really is with those glasses on."

"It's blue," Dave said, returning to an article bashing some obscure JRPG.

Jade leaned over his shoulder. "Come on, Cool Guy. If you took them off for a second you'd really get to see."

"No." He raised the magazine toward his face as a shield.

Jade skipped a step to face him, pulling the magazine down with a finger. She presented her cutest smile. "Please?"

Dave's expression was fixed. "I don't need to take off my badass shades. I can..."

Jade leaned in and pushed her lips into his. "Mmmph..." She shifted slightly to get more comfortable, sliding her lips gently into a position that fit Dave's perfectly. For a moment she thought she could feel him smile against her.

She leaned in a little more and lifted her hands to run her fingers up his sideburns and through his feathered hair. She giggled and slyly slipped the sunglasses up and off of his face. She broke away from Dave with a "mwah" and proudly placed the sunglasses over top of her own round frames.

Dave blinked. Squinting, he waited for his eyes to adjust to the bright lights. As the world slowly came into view, he could see Jade dancing and twirling in front of him. She opened her arms wide and threw her head back, laughing to the ceiling. "Am I cool now, Dave?" She stopped abruptly to face him, giggling as she caught her breath. Her bangs fell messily in front of her face, and she brushed them back. The sunglasses sat crooked over her large frames. She looked positively ridiculous. "Am I cool now?"

In a flash Dave was up off the sofa. With all the speed his brother had trained him for, he snagged the glasses from her face before she even realized he had moved.

He stopped for a second, catching her confused glimpse as she realized what had happened. He held the sunglasses, rubbing the temples between his fingers. He didn't want to admit that she was right. The dress was a much brighter shade of blue than he had thought. It brought out the subtle blue hues in the edges of her green eyes.

"Dave, I..." Jade started. He put the shades back on.

"So is that the dress you want, or what? I'm sick of sitting around in this store."

Jade looked down at the dress again. "Yeah. I think so."

"Great. Let's get it and get out of here then." He strode past the lunchtop and rifle bag that were propped up against the sofa, and reached over to grab his magazine. Jade sighed and headed back to the dressing room.

Dave didn't say a word as he waited for her to pay. They walked back to his pick up truck in silence. Jade chewed her bottom lip awkwardly, looking for any excuse to break the silence.

"Should I pester John and Rose about lunch now?" she asked.

"Yeah. They should be done with their stuff by now, too."

The four friends had planned to get together for lunch. It was the first warm Saturday of the spring, and John wanted to have a picnic. Dave thought the idea was pretty lame but since he had already made plans to spend the morning shopping with Jade, she talked him into it.

He leaned against the tailgate and gazed up at the perfectly normal clouds. They didn't show any visions of the future, although he couldn't help but think that the particularly large one looked a lot like an alligator. Meanwhile, Jade rifled through the pile of stuff on the seat. "What did you pack us to eat, anyway?" he asked her.

"This is just terrible!" she shouted, rushing over to him and shaking the squiddle covered box in his face. It swung open on the hinges, completely empty. No lunch. No laptop.

"I don't know what happened! I swear I packed my lunchtop, but this is just my old lunchbox. I've got nothing!"

Dave uncrossed his arms and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Chill out. It's okay."

"I can't get a hold of the others now. How will they know when to meet us? And we have nothing for lunch, either." She looked down at her grumbling stomach.

He took the empty box from her. "Well," he sighed, "Hop in. I guess I'll just have to take you somewhere."

Jade climbed into the passenger seat and Dave started his truck with a loud rumble. "Sorry about having to take you in this piece of shit truck."

Jade smiled, "I like your truck. It was your brother's wasn't it?" Dave nodded as the truck lurched to life.

"Yeah. It's one of the few things he left me."

Jade looked down at the box containing the dress she had just purchased. She lifted the lid at the corner to peek inside. She shut it again and set it aside, quietly clapping her hands in excitement. "I'm really excited for this dance. Thanks for inviting me!"

"Yeah, well," Dave shrugged, "You know I had so many girls all up on me, and they weren't gonna back off until I picked someone. So I figured, what the fuck, I'll take Jade. She's pretty all right, and we've been through hell and back together, and at least I won't have to spend the whole night with her stuck to me like a motherfuckin miracle magnet."

Jade laughed. Dave raced through a yellow light and pulled into a parking lot. The truck came to a stop with a bump that threw Jade off the seat. "We're here." he announced.

She climbed out and brushed herself off as Dave walked around to meet her. Jade looked up at the building and frowned.

"Dave, this place is really fancy. Are you sure you want to eat here?"

"Yeah, I hear it's good, I wanna try it out." He took her by the hand and led her toward the front door.

"I don't know about this, I mean, aren't we kind of under dressed?"

"It's fine," Dave insisted. He opened the door for her and followed her inside.

The hostess gave them a confused look. "Can I help you?" she asked in the sweetest voice possible.

"Yeah, table for two," he answered curtly.

She looked down at the two teens with disapproval, then at the dining room, then back at them. "You want a table for two?" she asked, clearly uncomfortable with their presence. She gave Dave a look that begged him to leave.

Dave didn't back down. "Yeah. Table for two." He repeated.

The woman swallowed her pride. "Right this way, sir," she chirped, leading him toward a small table at the very back of the restaurant and giving them their menus.

Jade took a seat and looked around nervously. It was only lunch time, but the customers beside them where dressed to impress in suits and skirts. They looked like the kind of people that her Grandpa would meet with on the island occasionally, like the professional men and women that he did business with.

"I don't think we fit in here," she mumbled. Dave was buried in the menu and not paying any attention to her. She frowned and picked up her own menu, hiding behind it as she browsed.

The waiter, a man dressed sharply in a tuxedo shirt and vest, came by promptly. "Welcome. What may I get for you today?" he announced automatically.

Dave put down his menu and looked up at him. "I'll have apple juice, and your soup of the day. What do you want?" he asked Jade.

Jade put on her most polite smile for the waiter. "I'd like some water, and the fruit salad, please."

The waiter looked down at the two of them and frowned. "Ah, certainly," he said, scribbling in his booklet before shuffling away.

Dave leaned back in his seat. "Seriously, this place is supposed to have really great shit. I read so on this blog by this dude who has a raging hard on for food."

"It does seem really high class," Jade admitted, playing with one of the three forks from her place setting.

"Well," Dave picked up his spoon and looked at his reflection in it, "You're a classy girl. You deserve it."

Jade blushed and poked him with the fork. "What do you know about class?" she teased.

He blocked a second poke with his spoon. "You know I can rock a tux better than these clowns." He leaned forward to bop her on the nose with the spoon just as the waiter returned with their drinks.

"Ahem." The waiter announced, waiting for Dave to return to his seat before serving the juice and water. Jade held her breath until the man shuffled away again before bursting into a fit of giggles.

The food arrived soon after. Jade munched happily on her salad.

"Is it good?" Dave asked, absentmindedly stirring his soup.

Jade nodded. "It's _very_ good. It's really fresh! Almost like straight out of my garden."

"Great," Dave slurped a large spoonful of soup.

"Is the soup as good as that dude said?" Jade asked, shoving another bite of salad in her mouth.

Dave nodded. "Yeah, it's pretty fucking acceptable. Could be a little hotter though."

"Really?" Jade swallowed. She reached over with her own spoon and stole a little taste. "Ouch!" she spat, "This is really hot!" She stuck out her tongue and fanned it with her hand. "How can you eat that?"

"I guess I'm just used to heat. I did spend who-knows-how-goddamn-long in a world of lava."

"But you didn't _eat_ lava!" Jade protested. She paused. " _Did you_?"

"Oh yeah. I ate lava all the time. It's the food of the gods, didn't you know?" He reached over and stabbed at her fruit salad with his fork, popping a bite into his mouth.

Jade smacked his hand with the spoon she was still holding. "Don't tease me like that!"

"Fine." Dave picked up the bowl and drank straight from it, making sure to hold his pinkies out, ironically. He put it down and wiped his mouth. "How would you like me to tease you then?"

Jade glared at him and took a sip from her water.

When then had finally finished eating, Dave paid the bill. Jade tried to peek at the price, but he was too quick for her to get a glimpse. "I got this," he insisted.

"Thanks for lunch," Jade said, skipping past the shiny, luxury cars that filled the parking lot to reach Dave's old pick up. "It was really yummy."

"Don't mention it." Dave pulled himself into the truck again and reached to start it up. Before he could turn the ignition, the familiar sound of a message from pesterchum rang from under the seat. Jade blinked.

Confused, she wiggled around to look under the seat. There, between an old smuppet and Dave's GameBro, was her missing lunchtop. She grabbed it and opened it up to a long pesterlog from John, who had been wondering where they were.

"That's so strange! How did my lunchtop get under there? We didn't even have to go to that restaurant at all!" She looked up at Dave.

The corners of his mouth where rising into a subtle smile. He reached over and wrapped his fingers around her hand. "Yeah, I guess we didn't _have_ to."

Jade blinked, confused for a second. Then a huge grin stretched across her face. “You jerk! Did you just trick me into a _date_?”

“You tricked me first,” he pointed to his glasses. "It isn't nice to tease me." He let go of her hand and looked out the window. "For a moment I actually though you liked me."

She huffed. “I _do_ like you, jerk.” She gasped and blushed, embarrassed to admit it out loud. “That's why I... I just wanted to know if you liked me too.”

Dave shut the lunchtop and leaned towards her, delicately pressing against her lips. She squealed and sprung forward, pushing him back against the driver's door and sliding onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close, kissing her slowly and gently. After a moment he broke away, and took a deep breath. He looked into her eyes, making sure to admire the blue edges that had been recently brought to his attention. “I guess I like you too, dork.”

**Author's Note:**

> Happy holidays, dellaluce. You are a talented writer, and I luv your work. I hope this fic does your adorable prompt justice.


End file.
